That being said, I know we all have parts of our lives we look back on fondly. Do you ever long for your childhood? Sometimes I think of a memory from my childhood, and I genuinely get a painful feeling in my gut; not because the memory is bad, but because I know that this particular part of my life is gone.I'll see a little girl holding hands with her mom in the grocery store, or a little boy making a drizzle castle at the beach, and I'll smile sadly, knowing that is not something I'll experience with my parents ever again.
I do a program through school called Campus Pals. It is comparable to the Big Brother Big Sister programs. In Campus Pals, there are "bigs" (college students), and "littles" (3rd-5th graders at the local elementary school). My little is Maryam. She's pretty much the cutest thing... ever. I see Maryam once a week; the littles come to campus and we help them with homework and play games. Don't kid yourself, her third grade assignments stump me weekly...
I remember when I started the program, I didn't really know what to expect. I've always loved kids, but what would Maryam be like? Would she be hard to get to know? Have an attitude? Be super shy? The truth is, Maryam is a funny one. She's opened up so much since the first day I met her; she's always telling me cute random facts about her day, and it takes her a solid 10 minutes to tell (what should be) a 30 second story. She can't just say she drew a picture of a horse- she has to tell me about sharpening her pencil, how the room was hot, and that she got yellow construction paper because the pink was gone (injustice)!
At the start of the program, I really thought Maryam didn't care much. I assumed the program was just something she got forced to do; however, as a few weeks passed, it became clear that this wasn't the case. Maryam started asking me to come to bring her lunch at school, or come to her dance recitals. What's more, is that she remembers everything I've said, whether that be my brother's name, or my favorite color. The fact that Maryam wants my approval so bad and loves just hanging out with me totally touches my heart. She challenges me to be a better person; she is at such a mold-able stage in her life, and I want to affect her life in the most positive way I can. I want her to know she's loved, beautiful, and talented!
I took Maryam lunch the other day. Needless to say, it was the first time I'd been an elementary school cafeteria since I was in fifth grade. As I was sitting with her and her friends, I got that sick feeling in my gut I mentioned earlier; I remember feeling like the coolest kid when my mom would bring me Chic-fil-a and sit with me. However, as I left the elementary school that day, I realized that is just the way life cycles. I carry those memories with me, and I "experience" them when I hang out with Maryam. I'll experience them when I have kids. Even though we can never relive our childhood again, we will constantly re-experience it as our lives continue.
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